Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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