Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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