so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
