Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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