There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
