I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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