Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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