do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
