Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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