At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Shame - the story of my life.
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