You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
