During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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