This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
