We had to coat check the pizza.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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