no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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