I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
