Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
