Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
