she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
