and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
