just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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