can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
