Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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