I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
be right there i have to get my cape
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
