I must be too annoying 4 u.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
