haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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