I'm drive I can fine osifer
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you win again, gameday.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
