wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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