I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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