if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
