he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
