You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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