i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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