Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
