Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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