Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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