no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
