he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You left your phone here
Wait...
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