I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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