i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
