Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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