I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
