So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
