I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
