i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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