he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
