I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
