So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
