hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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