This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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