Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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